How the Grinch Stole Hunting Season

Every hunter
Down in Hunt-ville
Liked hunting season a lot…
 

But the Grinch,
Who lives just North of Hunt-ville,
Did NOT!
 

The Grinch hated hunting! The whole hunting season!
Now, please don’t ask why. There are many good reasons.
It could be that hunter’s heads weren’t screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that their belts were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May be that their hearts were two sizes too small.
 

“They’re cleaning their guns!” the Grinch snarled with a sneer.
“Tomorrow is hunting season! It’s practically here!”
Then he growled, with his grinch fingers nervously drumming,
“I MUST find a way to keep hunting season from coming!”
For, tomorrow, he knew…
 

…All the Hunt-girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early. They’d rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!
That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
 

Then the hunters, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they’d feast! And they’d feast!
And they’d FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would carve up the body of some poor forest beast
Which was something the Grinch couldn’t stand in the least!

I MUST stop hunting season from coming!
…But HOW?”
 

Then he got an idea!
A brilliant idea!
THE GRINCH
GOT A WONDERFUL, KINDHEARTED IDEA!
 

“I know just what to do!” The Grinch Laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Grinchy trick!
With this coat and this hat, I’ll look just like Saint Nick
And I’ll slide down their chimneys, empty bags in my fist,
And I’ll steal all their fucking ammo!”

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23 thoughts on “How the Grinch Stole Hunting Season

  1. My Dad hunts for Food. NOT SPORT. He is as concerned as I.

    I remember being a little one (maybe 4) fishing with my Daddy. I went scouting with Him, My Brother and Our Black Lab, Willy. It was COLD in Iowa!

    Nice memories.

    P.S. I am up doing research for my Master’s :)

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