Save the Earth: Pray for a Pandemic

I don’t mean to sound like some hateful misanthrope who wants to see humanity suffer for all its crimes against the environment. Rather, my misanthropy stems from a profound love of nature and a will to save non-humans from the cruelty and exploitation they’re routinely subjected to by the one species fully capable of causing a mass extinction. Indeed, the species Homo sapiens is currently in the process of putting an end to the most biologically diverse period the Earth has ever known—the Age of Mammals, a class which the human race must reluctantly finds itself included in.

Being nothing more than mere mammals themselves, humans are ultimately at the mercy of Mother Nature’s self-preserving tactics. And what better way to reign in an errant child than with a major global pandemic that takes down only humans? Let’s face it; humans are never going to reverse the ill-effects of climate change willingly. Oh, world leaders sometimes give it lip service, but they almost never mention the parallel scourge of overpopulation. It seems it’s hard to be “green” and keep 7,185,322,300 (as of this writing) people fed, clothed, sheltered and transported in the manner they’re currently accustomed to.

If people want to come out of this alive, they’re going to have to make some serious lifestyle changes. That means no more oil-dependent cars, trains, jet airplanes, no more Walmarts full of plastic trinkets built with coal power in Chinese factories, then sent overseas in gargantuan container ships. No offshore oil wells, no fracking, no tar sands pipelines; no freeways, no commuter traffic, no immensely-popular sporting events selling factory-farmed hot dogs by the billions. No people by the billions, for that matter. No more breeding until humans have figured out how to live alongside the rest of the Earth’s inhabitants without wiping them out or making slaves out of them.

No more! Starting right now! No false-starts or baby steps. Time to change or be changed!

It’s not just the politicians who lack the will to do what it will take to soften the blow of climate change. But while humans debate their role in causing relatively dependable weather systems to go topsy-turvy worldwide, Nature is poised to unleash a pandemic or two from her bag of tricks and take care of the human problem herself. I’m not talking about Ebola, that’s too slow and nasty.

When Nature gets serious, I’m hoping it’ll be quick and painless for all.  By the time humans know what hit ‘em, there’ll be no one left to test the experimental vaccine on the animals who’ll be too busy inheriting the Earth anyway.

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16 thoughts on “Save the Earth: Pray for a Pandemic

  1. Back to back solar flares could solve the problem. Space massive flares like the one seen the 1860’s about 3 months apart, and human civilization’s clock would be reset. We wouldn’t be extinct, but our impact on the planet would be minimized.

  2. The biggest joke of all is trying to convince the world that we can wipe out poverty – it’s never been done in the history of mankind, when our populations were much smaller and resources more abundant. I doubt it’s going to happen with our population headed for 13 billion. Despite promises about GMOs producing more with less, royalties are still being charged for their use by poor farmers who cannot afford it when a crop fails. It’s always been most of our resources controlled by the hands of a few. So we are doing ourselves in.

  3. How about a nice human sterility plague instead? I for one would actually welcome a Children of Men type scenario. Would be a whole lot less unpleasant than a The Last of Us style cordyceps fungus jumping to humans and turning them to zombies type situation.

  4. Now don’t shoot the messenger, but here is a real possibility – what very well could happen when we stupidly kill off all of our predators (from Audubon magazine):

    Another irony is that if humans could kill coyotes more efficiently, the impact might have unexpected consequences throughout the food chain. “If you removed all the coyotes, the rodent population would expand unchecked,” says David Gaillard, a researcher with the Predator Project, an environmental organization that opposes coyote hunting. “Voles and gophers would do more damage, in terms of monetary losses, to rangelands — damaging forage, digging up fields — than coyotes cost the livestock industry.” So then we would have to start killing voles and gophers.

    http://archive.audubonmagazine.org/coyote/index.html

    Perhaps a return of the plague?

      • Plague, pestilence, famine, war, firestorms, floods, etc., are all ugly and undesirable, but they’re not just end-times Armageddon prophecy coming true. They’re a result of human-caused climate change–which, in turn, is the result of overpopulation and overindulgence (ie: fossil fuel and meat addictions). It’s not fun to think about, but we have to talk about it so we know what caused it when the mayhem’s finally over (if anyone’s left to question it).

  5. It won’t happen,like a virus,the birth rate is so quick humans will replace themselves in no time at all. It does strike me as ironic though, when man decides that a species is getting to an increased number it must be culled but all humankind does is keep banging children out at an alarming rate, One day there will not be food to sustain the population and then there will be anarchy, a few will survive probably enough to start the whole process of again

  6. Pingback: In Defense of Our Misanthropy | Exposing the Big Game

  7. Pingback: Save the Earth: Pray for a Pandemic | The Extinction Chronicles

  8. Pingback: Noisy humans are preventing forests from regrowing | Exposing the Big Game

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