You’re a Mean One, Mr. Fudd

[The following is a marriage between the Looney Tunes’ cartoon character who best depicts the average hunter and Dr. Seuss’ lyrics that so perfectly describe them…]

Elmer Fudd hunter

You’re a mean one, Mr. Fudd.
You really are a heel,
You’re as cuddly as a cactus, you’re as charming as an eel, Mr. Fudd.
You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You’re a monster, Mr. Fudd.
Your heart’s an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders, you have garlic in your soul, Mr. Fudd.
I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

You’re a vile one, Mr. Fudd.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Fudd.
Given the choice between the two of you,
I’d take the seasick crocodile.

You’re a foul one, Mr. Fudd.
You’re a nasty wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks;
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Fudd.

The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote:

You’re a rotter, Mr. Fudd.
You’re the king of sinful sots.
Your heart’s a dead tomato squashed with moldy purple spots,
Mr. Fudd.

Your soul is an appalling dump heap
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
Assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Fudd,
With a noxious super naus.
You’re a crooked jerky jockey and
You drive a crooked horse,
Mr Fudd!

ELmer Fudd hunter

You’re a three-decker sauerkraut
And toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

4 thoughts on “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Fudd

  1. Vile. I read a lot of crap as an animal advocate, but this one truly takes the cake. Just look at the expression on this poor kitten’s face after having the back luck to have contact with humans. Poor thing. Thank goodness some decent people found him and are caring for him. I know that there are good people out there, but they seem to be outnumbers by the bad, the apathetic, and the human-centric:

    • I saw that poor little fellow and hope he will do well. Can’t help wishing the moral monstrosity who tortured him would get what he deserves. This is why we need Planned Parenthood.

  2. I saw those cartoons many years ago, in the days when hunters returned with dead deer and elk just tied onto their vehicles in open view. So I didn’t see anything funny, even as a kid, about hunting. One of the cartoons, though, actually had a great ending–a terrified Elmer Fudd racing for his life with a well-armed Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck in hot pursuit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s