Duck Dynasty Dillweed Wants to Go Duck Hunting With Obama

Go ahead and read about it if you want…

I can’t stand to reading about these Duck Dynasty dweebs any more than I can stand seeing the likes of Ted Nugent; or hearing Sarah Palin’s words of wisdom.

Better yet, why not re-read one of these EtBG classics:

All I can say is, Obama better not take him up on it.


The Guns of Mid-Winter

When I wrote my book, Exposing the Big Game, its subtitle, Living Targets of a Dying Sport, was appropriate. But like so many things in this rapidly changing world, by the time the book came out, that subtitle was becoming obsolete. Now, in the second decade of the 21st century, the sport of blasting birds, murdering deer, culling coyotes and plunking at prairie dogs—in a word, hunting—is seeing a seemingly inexplicable resurgence.

Lately we’re seeing longer hunting seasons on everything from elk to geese to wolves, with more new or expanded “specialty” hunts like archery, crossbow, spear (and probably soon, poison blow gun) in states across the country, than at any time in recent memory. Meanwhile, more Americans are taking up arms against the animals and wearing so much camo—the full-time fashion statement of the cruel and unusual—that it’s starting to look ordinary and even, yuppified.

So, when did cruel become the new cool and evil the new everyday? Are the recruiting efforts of the Safari Club and the NRA finally striking a cord? Did the staged “reality” show “Survivor” lead to the absurdly popular thespian cable spin-offs like, “Call of the Wildman,” “Duck Dynasty” and a nasty host of others? Is “art” imitating life, or is life imitating “art?” Did the author of the Time Magazine article, “America’s Pest Problem: It’s Time to Cull the Herd,” ratchet up the call for even more animal extermination?

Whatever the reason, I don’t remember ever hearing so many shotguns and rifles blasting away during the last week of January. By the sound of the gunfire, coupled with the unseasonably dry and warm weather here in the Pacific Northwest, you’d swear it was early autumn.

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2014. All Rights Reserved

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2014. All Rights Reserved

Don’t Miss the Premier Episode of Black Sheep Robertson: “Revenge of the Ducks”

Tune into NDC’s newest reality series starring Exposing the Big Game’s Jim Robertson, the black sheep of the duck dynasty. You’ll learn true respect for wild ducks and geese, who are featured living as they naturally do along with their wetland brethren on Black Sheep Robertson’s sprawling sanctuary, in peace and harmony as God intended.

No animals are harmed during the filming of this program, unlike on Duck Dynasty, which is all about hurting and killing. And rest assured, although Jim is a compassionate man who would no sooner blast a duck than he would members of the camo-clad clan, he is an atheist so you won’t have to endure any cheesy, half-assed references to salvation and all that stuff.

On the premier episode, you’ll get a behind-the-scenes look at the special breeding facility where giant, mutant man-eating mallards are being fitted with armor outerwear and readied for their release into nearby hunter recreation areas and “sportsmen’s” playgrounds.

(If this sounds shocking, consider that as I write this I’m hearing the recurrent noise of shotgun blasts, resulting in the wounding and deaths of untold numbers of ducks and geese.)
(This has been another installment in EtBG’s “Headlines We’d Like to See.”)

Also See: I’m Not One of those Duck Dynasty Douchebags             

And: Expressing My Freedom of Speech 

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2014. All Rights Reserved

Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2014. All Rights Reserved

Duck Dynasty guns? Yep, but will new product line actually revive hunting?

By Patrik Jonsson, Staff writer / January 3, 2014

Photo Copyright Jim Robertson

Photo Copyright Jim Robertson

Just about everyone in America now knows that Phil Robertson and the “Duck Dynasty” clan are a rare breed, indeed. But even as the bayou-based reality TV family has morphed into a marketing and cultural commodity – note its new line of Mossberg shotguns and rifles – there’s another angle to ponder: Until now, hunters like Phil Robertson had actually been disappearing from America’s duck-dotted wetlands.

“Duck Dyasty,” a show about a band of self-described rednecks and their kin straddling the gulf between rural values and fabulous wealth – built to a TV viewership crescendo this past summer, during its fourth season. It captured even broader attention more recently when Mr. Robertson, the clan patriarch, became embroiled in a corporate spat with A&E executives over his views, expressed to a GQ reporter, that homosexuality is a sin like bestiality, and that homosexuals are akin to drunkards and terrorists.

The Robertsons’ subsequent decision to break away from their TV licensing to sign the Mossberg shotgun deal independently – not to mention the multitude of TV and newspaper stories about the “Dynasty” clan’s red-state attitudes and values – speaks to what some call redneck commoditization. That’s an appeal to primarily white Southern fundamentalist Christians that has translated into financial (some $450 million in merchandise sold in less than two years), as well as cultural and political, payoff.


Also see:


Duck Dynasty’s Evil is Spreading

Some folks may be wondering why we let ourselves get worked up over a stupid faux “reality” TV show like Duck Dynasty; what harm are they doing by showing their hairy mugs for money and attention (and a lot of both). Well, I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it: their idiocy seems to be catching.

In all the years I’ve lived by this waterfowl wintering area, people have been respectful of the No Hunting Access sign. Now you find spent shotgun shells along the road overlooking the bay–a sure sign that bozo Robertson wanna-bes are shooting out at ducks who take refuge in the calm waters there.

And just today a boat full of duck hunters motored their boat through a flock of 100

—Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013. All Rights Reserved

—Text and Wildlife Photography ©Jim Robertson, 2013

trumpeter swans, driving them across the river to an island infested with hunters shooting from their duck blinds.

It only takes a few boneheads to ruin it for everyone–especially if they have their own TV show.


Duck Dynasty Gun Ads: Blowing A Duck’s Head Off Makes Phil Robertson Happy

Duck Dynasty Gun Ads: Blowing A Duck’s Head Off Makes Phil Robertson Happy

The Connecticut based weapons manufacturer Mossberg & Sons announced a partnership with the self-proclaimed “rednecks” Duck Dynasty last summer to sell a line of 12 DD themed weapons. The weapons are coated in camouflage and have the words “Faith. Family. Ducks.” displayed on them.

A series of ads featuring the Duck patriarch, Phil Robertson, aired right before Robertson made anti-LGBT and racist comments in a December GQ interview.

In one of the ads, two of the DD sons prepare to kill ducks as Father Phil recites the opening lines from the Constitution.

 “Those are rights that no government can take from you to live, be free and pursue happiness,” Robertson says in a voice-over. “You know what makes me happy, ladies and gentlemen? To blow a mallard drake’s head smooth off.”

In addition to the DD weapons that kill ducks dead, Mossberg’s website also advertises .22 caliber weapons that are “perfect for small game, plinking (and) target shooting – or cleaning cottonmouths out of your duck blind.”

Of course no Duck Dynasty weapon advertisement would be prudent without utilizing a biblical reference: “Where there is a design, there is a designer. We were designed to kill ducks.”

The DD themed weapon collection also includes military-style designs with large capacity magazines that hold at least 25 rounds that are too powerful for small game. The entire line consists of nine different shotguns, as well as two semiautomatic rifles and a semiautomatic pistol.

Mossberg says each gun will come with an American flag bandana.

After Papa Duck made his homophobic and racist comments in the GQ article, A&E announced the suspension of Robertson. Conservatives flipped out. Days later, Robertson was reinstated. …coughcoughpublicitystuntcoughcough….

Article and Video here:

Captain Paul Watson’s Message to Patriarch Duck Dunce

My Message to the Patriarch Duck Dunce

From one so called Reality TV Star to Another

Captain Paul Watson of Animal Planet’s Whale Wars sends a message to Phil Robertson of A&E’s Duck Dynasty.

Dear Phil,

I am confused. How can you equate homosexuality with bestiality? You’re hardly in a position to say such a thing when your business is manufacturing duck mating calls that essentially declare that you want to fuck a duck.

You are flirting with bestiality Phil.

You not only seduce defenseless innocent ducks, you kill them when they approach you. Sort of reminds me of Ted Bundy.

You are also seducing ducks through fraudulent behavior. Essentially you are lying to the ducks. And you’re peddling duck seduction devices in a quack-pot scheme to enrich yourself on the suffering and death of hundreds of thousands of innocent ducks.

I picked up a copy of the New Testament to see what Jesus Christ or any of the disciples had to say about gay men and women. Incredibly I discovered that they never said anything at all about homosexuality. Jesus did however condemn the rich and you Phil Robertson are rich and I also do recall something in the tablets that Moses brought down from the mountain about not killing. It did not say thou shall not kill other human beings, it said, “Thou shall not kill.”

It seems to me that Jesus would have been more compassionate towards a gay man than to a rich man. So I think that Jesus would be more comfortable listening to Elton John than hearing your shotguns dropping his father’s children from the sky.

Now I know that it’s common for some Christians to cite Leviticus but if you believe Leviticus you need to go all the way, selling daughters into slavery, smiting and stoning and hating everyone that believes in something different than you do. But then again, I may be wrong but I recall that Jesus Christ came with a new message – one of love and forgiveness, compassion and kindness.

I can’t see Jesus defending war nor can I see him denying help to the poor. Nor can I see him spewing hatred for gays.

True Christianity can be a very beautiful thing – when practiced but unfortunately it is rarely practiced.

As for going to hell Phil, everyone goes to hell because if you do not believe in the Catholic faith you will go to Catholic hell and likewise Catholics will go to Protestant hell. From the way the various denominations have laid claim on heaven and hell everyone is going to someone’s hell.

But what I really don’t get is this. Why do people, and especially so-called Christians get all upset about gay people? How does gay marriage affect them? Why do they make it their business to interfere with the happiness of other people? Why does this threaten some people?

I mean Phil, how does gay marriage get in the way of you murdering ducks for dollars?

They certainly are not out there in the swamp gunning down what you consider your ducks and cracking red-neck jokes. There is simply no Godly reason they should be annoying you Phil unless, well unless you have had some inclination towards temptation in that particular direction of choice Phil and you are feeling guilty about your unspoken desires.

And as for freedom of speech, well, by all means you are free to have your bigoted opinions and no one is denying that. Your problem is that you broadcasted your bigoted opinions on television, and as such you must suffer the opinions of people who disagree with you and find your opinions to be vile and hateful.

A &E simply exercised their right to express their disagreement with your bigoted views. All those people you are saying are intolerant of your right to free speech are simply expressing their free speech to denounce your hateful rhetoric.

Of course you have Sarah Palin defending you. Good luck with that Phil.

Do you think that if I were to make racist statements about the Japanese that Animal Planet would not take me off the air? Of course they would and they would be right to do so. Our fight is with whalers who happen to be Japanese. Sometimes they are Norwegians. The point is we don’t condemn anyone on racial or cultural grounds and racism should never be tolerated, especially on the airwaves.

Phil, I don’t like you. It’s not because you’re white, supposedly Christian or seemingly heterosexual or that you have a strange and violent sexual relationship with ducks. I don’t like you because you’re a bigot and I don’t like you for murdering ducks.

The bottom line is you exercised your right to free speech and now you are suffering the consequences. The Constitution guarantees your right to free speech, it does not guarantee your right to not be held responsible for what you say.

You are free to continue making bigoted and hateful comments. No one is going to toss you into jail for it. That is what it means by freedom of speech.

You are however dreaming if you think that what you say does not have consequences. Enjoy your freedom of speech because you are going to have to pay for it – with consequences.

Oh and by the way, stop seducing and murdering ducks.

I’ll leave you with a little song I heard from a little girl the other day.

“Be kind to your animal friends
For a duck may be somebodies mother”

Yea, I know that is way beyond your comprehension of empathy but I’m sure Phil that if you repent of your sins of bigotry and lust for ducks that Jesus will forgive you.